did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
