ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
