worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize