shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
