they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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