woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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