i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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