I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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