We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
