I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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