ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
