Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
