I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
