Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
