Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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