Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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