Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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