I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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