If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
