i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
