Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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