hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
