my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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