I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
