I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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