This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
