He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
