these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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