i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
