using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
