My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just high enough for therapy.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
