So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
