Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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