we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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