i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
