Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
