I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
