so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
