Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
