found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
