Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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