Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
