Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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