i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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