How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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