is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize