I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
