she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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