We're facebook friends in real life
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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