For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
