either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
