tell your sister to shave her snatch
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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