dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You took a bar mat shot.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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