did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
