Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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