No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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