she was so not down for the gang bang
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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