in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
handjob tips. give me some.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize