My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
