Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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