she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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