your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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