garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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