dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize