Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize