look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
