...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
3 2 1 whiskey
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
